The Dangers of Asgardian Dentistry
by DomiWrites
Summary: Once upon a time Tony was bored. And in his boredom, he got a magical idea, but he'll need the help of Bruce, Thor, and even the mischievous Loki to pull it off. But when Bruce becomes involved in a small accident, it sends the Avengers on a mission they never could have imagined, against a foe they did not think existed. Includes whole team. No Slash. Lots of magic!
1. Step 1: Planning

It all started the day Tony, Thor, and Bruce suddenly went missing. No one in the tower was quite sure when the trio had vanished. Steve remarked seeing Tony and Bruce in the living room some time earlier that day, but that was hours ago, and they could be halfway around the world by now.

Normally this would not be a problem. After all, they were not being kept prisoner in the tower, they were all free to come and go as they pleased. Though normally when someone would leave they would at least be available in case something happened. However this time they were unreachable and their absence was becoming an increasingly dangerous problem now that the team had suddenly lost half of its members they day a major SHIELD weapons facility had been broken into by some wannabe super villain, leaving the team not only without the only two members that could fly, but also their more bulletproof teammates. Though the remaining Avengers were able to dissolve the situation, their teammate's absence was definitely noticed.

"I swear," Clint began as he took his seat at the table in the Helicarrier's conference room. "I am going to punch Stark in the throat once I find him. I'm sure this is all his fault. No way Bruce or Thor would be this irresponsible." He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "I bet he took them all to some secret billionaire beach resort and left us to do all the dirty work."

"I'm sure that's not the case," Steve sighed from his seat. "If they went out like that, Bruce would have sneaked a communicator along, left a note, or something. He wouldn't just run out because Tony said so."

"Hey, I've read the guy's file," Clint retorted. "If anyone's a fan of up and vanishing it's Bruce Banner. He's done it almost more than SHIELD can count. I wouldn't be surprised if he was the one to formulate their little getaway plan."

"That may be true," Steve admitted. "But this is all too odd. I mean both Tony and Thor disappearing at the same time as Bruce. Even if Bruce ran away and Tony and Thor went looking for him, that still would not explain why they would not answer when we called."

"What are you saying?" Natasha chimed in. "That they were kidnapped?"

"Well, maybe this is all part of some larger plan? Half of our muscle has gone missing. Anyone of us could be taken next."

"This wasn't a kidnapping." Director Fury said as he walked into the conference room. "I went to Stark's building and his AI said that he has no records of Stark or Banner ever leaving the tower, and absolutely no record of Thor being in the building at all for about a week. I also have security camera footage of every exit around the tower for three blocks that agrees with me. However," Fury took in a deep breath before continuing. "The AI said that they are not _in_ the building at all. Further scans for gamma radiation and the arc reactor turn up negative around the tower as well, and we have no idea how to track Thor."

"So if they did not leave and weren't taken, where did they go?"

"As far as SHIELD can tell, those idiots have up and vanished into thin air."

* * *

One week earlier

Tony was disappointed that he did not think of this earlier. He was a futurist, he was supposed to be inventing tomorrow. He was supposed to have so many advanced toys that in a thousand years all of his tech would still be modern. So why did it take an old episode of Star Trek for him to realize that his life was desperately devoid of teleportation technology?

He grabbed the tablet from the countertop as walked to the bar and began running though the numbers, already thinking what color he should paint the new tech and what to name it. So far, it seemed theoretically possible; all he had to do was send a bunch of atoms to another place instantaneously. Or nearly instantaneously. He figured he could stand a delay of a few milliseconds if needed. Anything longer than 3 seconds just would not be worthy of the Stark logo.

Not to mention anything longer than 3 seconds would involve a lot of calculations. He already had to factor in the rotation of the Earth, the Earth's rotation around the Sun, the Solar System's place in the galaxy, and then its place in the universe. It would not be impossible, but it sure wasn't going to be easy.

But starting from scratch was going to take longer than he would have liked. If he started the project right away, he could very likely get a prototype done by the time Thor started going gray. And that was if he could work nonstop without having to save the world, go to board meetings, sleep, eat, and basically fulfill any bodily needs.

He could probably solve the problem a bit faster if he had something to work from. Sure there were some theories about wormholes, but there was not much about how to control them. Maybe he could raid SHIELD's databanks to see if they were looking into a teleporter? Maybe Dr. Doom? The X-Men? Hell if he was going to ask Reed Richards for help after he beat Tony out of scientist of the year because hey, apparently the judges like looking at boring rocks from other dimensions instead of enjoying their lives free from alien tyranny. Okay, Tony could admit that he did not put all of his effort into any scientific discovery, but come on, he had been busy. His clean energy project could have won if Loki did not decide to play Risk with his planet.

But at least Loki's appearance did provide some good news. Tony put the tablet back on the counter and poured himself a drink. "JARVIS, tell Thor I need to see him."

"Right away, sir."

It did not take long for Thor to step out of the elevator. He had been getting used to Tony's technology rather well considering. All of those classes he held for Steve and him really seemed to have paid off after all.

He was not quite sure how to begin talking to Thor. For as long as he had been in the Avengers, he only really spoke to Bruce, Steve, and occasionally Clint. For some reason he never tried speaking to Thor one on one. It was not that he was nervous around the demi-god, more that it just never came up. Maybe he should work on his Earth-Asgard relations a bit more. After all, there was apparently an entire world being left out of his marketing demographic and the business man in him could not let that go.

"Hail, friend Stark!" Thor boomed as he walked closer. "What seems to be the trouble?"

"No trouble, just wanted to ask you a question." Tony poured a drink for Thor and motioned for him to sit at the bar with him. "I noticed when you took Loki back to Asgard that you, well for lack of a better term, were beamed up. Do you know how exactly that works? The inter-realm travel I mean? Do you think it's possible to localize and control that?"

Thor took a short sip of his drink, considering the question. "Aye, though I am not as well versed as others on the subject, I will do what I can to answer your queries. Loki and I used the Tesseract's power to return to Asgard. However the Bifrost has long since been repaired, and has and shall again serve as the main bridge between the realms. I am unfamiliar as to the exact magic behind the Bifrost, only that it is a very ancient magic that has bound the nine for as long as I have known."

"What about intra-realm travel. Like teleportation. Is that possible?"

"Verily." Thor laughed softly. "I myself am not versed in that magic; however Loki is rather talented in the art. He would oft use that very skill to escape after setting one of his pranks."

"Great, more magic." Tony took a long drink, letting the scotch sit in his mouth. He wanted something that made sense, not a quick copout to keep people from questioning how things worked. If only that worked at board meetings, he would be able to get more things done without all the questions and subsequent lengthy dumbed down explanations. 'How do you expect to make clean energy for the whole world and still make a profit?' 'Black magic, peasants!' queue big flashy exit complete with ravens and doves for contrast as a bunch of old investors pee their pants from shock. Hm, no wonder Loki was so showy. Magic seemed like it would make even the humble Steve put on a show of things. Perhaps it was worth looking into.

"Would it be possible for someone like me to use magic?" Tony asked sheepishly. He sounded like the wimpy kid asking the hot girl next door to the prom_. Pull yourself together man! You're Ironman, Master of Science and Technology! This isn't Hogwarts! _

Thor seemed to deeply consider the question. "'Tis true that Midgard does possess some knowledge of magic. Though I have yet to know a mortal who could use it properly."

"Oh," Tony sighed taking another drink. Maybe it was too much to hope that he could have used the magic cop out.

"However, if any mortal could jump the divide between Asgardian and Midgardian magic, I see no reason why it cannot be you, friend Stark."

"Really?" Tony sounded almost too excited and tried to compose himself a bit more. "That would be amazing! Could you bring me back some books from Asgard? Do you guys have the printing press there, or do you still use scribes? Wait would they even been in English? They speak English in Asgard, don't they? You speak English. Though now that I think about it, that makes no sense. Do you speak Asgardian? Is that a language?"

"I speak the Allspeak. It is a speech understood by all creatures. You hear English you said it was called? When you speak, I hear it in Asgard's tongue. I do not know if this applies to our writing. I cannot recall a mortal attempting to read it before. Shall we test it? Do you have any parchment and ink?"

"Do you really think I keep paper in this house? That is too old school for me." Tony popped a stylist out of the side of the tablet and handed it to Thor. "Use this, and don't push so hard, you'll crack the screen."

Thor's hand was a bit too big for the small stylist but he managed to scribble a few complex characters onto the tablet before pushing to towards Tony. At first the characters just remained intricate squiggles but suddenly they began to rearrange themselves and spelled the words 'Toni Stark'. Tony could not help but laugh.

"You misspelled Tony. You spelled it the girl way."

"So you can read it?" Thor smiled. "That is wonderful my friend! I shall make the preparations immediately."

Tony was beginning to be a bit jealous of Asgard. Turns out that they were not as far back in the past as he had thought. They had pursued magic instead of science, and they lived longer too, no need for as many medical advances as humans needed. They favored hand to hand and magical combat, so they did not need any advancement in weapons and armor; everything could just be magic-ed better and stronger.

The businessman in Tony was having a field day. If he could crack the secrets of magic and blend them with technology, the possibilities would be endless. Take that Richards! Magic and technology combined had to make him scientist of the year, if not century. Modern day Merlin! Yeah, he liked the sound of that.

"JARVIS, take a screen-cap of the tablet and tell me what it says."

"Sir, characters cannot be matched to any known language in my databanks. Shall I start a log file?"

"Sure, and make note of a new side project, 'Universal Translator', mark it under future business projects. I'm sure ending international misunderstandings would win a Peace prize or two. If anything I won't have my comments censored at the international board meeting anymore."

"Very good, sir."


	2. Step 2: Gathering Workers

It took SHIELD three hours to complete the top to bottom search of Stark Tower with little success. Though they could not enter the lower laboratory levels, the glass walls confirmed with the heat sensors that no one was inside. The living rooms as well as the bedrooms were void of any signs of recent life, however they had not been gone long enough for any really signs to present themselves.

While SHIELD agents tore the tower apart for clues, the remaining Avengers boarded a Quinjet and headed straight to Stark's Malibu home to confront Ms. Pepper Potts about her employer's sudden disappearance. They were hoping that Tony had entrusted Pepper with some information as to his whereabouts incase something happened, or in the more likely case, he needed her to get him something. Tony never liked to disappear for long if he could help it.

The remaining team elected Steve to be the one to knock on the door of the mansion, banking on his classic charm and lack of breaking and entering skills to make a better impression while Natasha and Clint put their spy skills to use and searched the premises themselves incase they were hiding out there.

"Hello, Ms. Potts. I am Steve Rogers" Steve tried to give her his biggest PR smile, though he was genuinely happy to meet one of Stark's more stable friends. Steve was not sure how to introduce himself to her. Did she know him already? Did Tony talk to her about his teammates? Steve was sure that Tony had brought Bruce to his mansion before, and Natasha mentioned about being here during a spy mission once, so they might have met then. He was just going to have to take a risk and see how far it got him. "I'm one of Tony's teammates. Um, may I come in for a moment?"

"I-I suppose so." She opened the door a bit wider for Steve to shuffle inside. The place was larger than Steve thought was necessary for just Tony and Pepper. He thought the tower was big for the sake that it was New York, but now Steve was beginning to think Tony really did have more money than he knew what to do with and then some.

She guided Steve to a couch in the living room and he sat down after she made herself comfortable. "What brings you here, Steve? Did Tony send you to pick something up for him? He could have just come himself."

"No, Ma'am," Steve began, slightly nervous to be in Tony's house without being invited. "It's about Tony. We can't find him. We had a mission yesterday and for some reason Tony would not answer his communicator. We could not get in touch with Thor or Bruce either."

"He's probably holed up in his lab working on something." Pepper sighed, taking a deep breath, probably remembering her failed attempts to contact Tony in the past only to find him in his lab. "Do you need me to come with you to try and drag him out of there and give him a lecture on responsibility?"

"No Ma'am. It's not that. We checked the lab to see if he would answer, but he was not down there. SHIELD is searching the whole building now, but so far, we have not been able to find anything that would let us know about their whereabouts. As far as we are aware they have been missing for almost twenty-four hours now." Pepper seemed visibly shaken at this. Steve leaned forward in an attempt to comfort her. "We were hoping that he would have told you something about where he could be, or even when he was planning on coming back?"

"I don't know." She shook her head a little as if trying to remember something that could help. "I haven't spoken to Tony in two days. I have no idea where he could have gone. He never said anything to me about going on a trip. Um, JARVIS, did Tony make any travel plans recently?"

"No madam, sir has not made any plans."

"Has he made any plans that he does not want anyone to know about?" Steve interjected.

"I am sorry, Mr. Rogers, but you are not authorized to access such information." The AI replied.

"Answer the question JARVIS." Pepper ordered rather crossly.

"I am sorry, but I cannot-"

"Override code 56723A39." Pepper stood up crossing her arms in frustration.

"Override accepted. Sir has planned a two week trip to a private European island for next month for himself and one Virginia Potts. I am sorry to spoil the surprise. Please enjoy your vacation."

Pepper sighed in frustration, not sure whether to be happy that Tony had planned a surprise trip for her, or annoyed that Tony was being so difficult to find. "Are any of the Iron Man suits out?"

"All Iron Man suits are present and accounted for, Ms. Potts."

"Not any chance you know where he is, is there?"

"Sir's last know location was Stark Tower in New York City. I have no further information as to his whereabouts."

"And he hasn't made you delete any footage, or something?"

"No Ms. Potts. No edits have been made to my databanks in the past three days. There are no missing time frames as well."

Pepper breathed in heavily and looked to the ground. She looked upset and worried. Steve stood up and took a few cautious steps towards her.

"Well, I've done what I can." She sighed and walked towards the door, Steve at her heels. "I'll keep looking for him around here."

"Don't worry Ma'am," Steve smiled again in an attempt to reassure her. "We'll find him."

"Thanks," she smiled back weakly. "I'll keep the press from finding out that he's missing, that should at least keep super-villain attacks down and his stock up."

"Thank you, Ma'am. That should help."

"Oh, and when you do find him, tell him to come see me. I'll schedule him a surprise trip of my own."

* * *

One week earlier

"Dr. Banner, your presence is requested at the balcony." JARVIS announced as Bruce put down the chemicals he had been mixing.

Bruce let out a small sigh. He did not feel much like being dragged around downtown being on display with the celebrity Tony Stark. Tony could not catch a cold without it trending on the Internet; Bruce could not imagine how fast the government would be on him if he accidently lost control. Maybe if Tony did not absolutely love crowds, then maybe he would feel more comfortable. But he could not afford to hurt anyone because he was careless. He just could not handle the guilt.

"Tell Tony that I'm busy working on something." He mumbled back and continued with his work.

"Actually sir, Thor Odinson is the one asking for you." JARVIS corrected.

Bruce put the chemicals down and straightened his glasses. Why would Thor need him? He had never really spent much time with Thor. They really did not have much in common. Maybe it would be nice to be around someone who could handle themselves against the Other Guy.

He packed up his experiment, making sure that everything was put away to prevent anyone from hurting themselves and headed to the elevator. Life had been unusually peaceful for him. Under SHIELD's protection, Ross had stopped chasing after him. Well as much. He had a feeling that if he took one step out of line Ross would be on his tail before the seams popped in his shirt. And then it would be a hard life on the run for Bruce Banner yet again.

It was nice to be able to sleep on a real bed that was not infested with some sort of parasite for once though. He was always worried that his blood might make a Hulked out mosquito or some Gama-leech or something like that. But Tony had been good to him, exceedingly so. He gave him a home when few others would. If he asked, though he never would, Bruce was sure that Tony would buy one for him if he wanted the alone time. He was not sure how he would ever repay him. He only hoped that he would never end up hurting him. He hoped that he Hulk would remember all of the kindness Tony has shown to them. Though Tony did say that the Hulk had saved him during Loki's attack; maybe he did not have to worry about Tony and the Hulk so much after all.

When the elevator door opened to the living room he was surprised to find the whole room empty.

"Hello?" Bruce cautiously called out. "Thor? Are you up here?" Looking around Bruce noticed that the doors out to the balcony were opened. JARVIS did say that he was outside. However when Bruce walked out onto the balcony, he found it just as empty as the living room.

"Thor?"

"Good to see you out of the lab Brucie." Tony smiled and walked up to his friend.

"Tony, have you seen Thor? JARVIS said … Aw, Tony you didn't."

"Had to get you out of there somehow; it was either that or pull the fire alarm, really."

"Please don't use your tech to lie to me, Tony." Bruce sighed and plopped down on the couch. "You could have just asked."

"You wouldn't have come." Tony confessed as he poured himself a drink. "If I had asked as Clint or Natasha you would have thought someone was after you, Steve would have come to see you in person. I figured asking as Thor would have made you so curious that you would actually come up."

"Well you were right. So what did you want now that I'm here?"

"Just some help on a new project idea." Tony beamed as he took the chair across from Bruce. "Teleportation. Like the kind in Star Trek and other sci-fi shows."

"And how could I help with that?"

"Oh, help with the numbers, power supply, but most importantly," Tony leaned in close like he was telling him a secret, "I need help figuring out magic."

"What?" Bruce pulled away a little, slightly shocked at the idea. "Tony, you hate magic. It's so unpredictable and nonsensical. Why in the world do you want to use it?"

"Imagine all of the tech we can make if we use Asgardian magic as a base. They already have inter-dimensional travel down, and Thor told me that they have teleportation spells. He even said that there is a possibility that humans could use magic."

"You've talked to Thor about this? What did he say?"

"That he's willing to help me out." Tony explained. "I asked him to get a few books on basic magic and see if he could find out how their transporter works for me. That should give us a start. From what I can tell from scans of Thor's hammer and the Tesseract, magic seems similar to radiation."

"So you need me to look into how to make this magical radiation exist in whatever we want?" Bruce guessed.

"Exactly." Tony smiled and leaned back in this chair. "I figured this needs to be able to work without having to learn too much. Nothing too complicated so that it could be used during battle, but not so easy that an enemy can use it or some slimy business man can market it under my nose. The patent office is getting back to me on Thursday about it. Hope they can take it seriously since I wrote that one of the key components is Black Magic."

Bruce smiled a bit looking out the window. He could see how useful a teleporter could be. They could show up half way around the world in an instant to help people. They could transport criminals right to jail without having to worry about transport. Even in the public sector, teleportation could revolutionize travel. So it would kill airports, they could be replaced just like they replaced month long sea voyages.

"And Bruce," Tony started, making him turn his head. "I think this could help you as well."

"What do you mean?"

"You would not have to worry about crowds anymore. Any time you started feeling angry, you could warp to the middle of nowhere and calm down or go nuts, whichever. But you would be away from people. You could let out your rage without having to worry about hurting anyone. Then when your temper tantrum is over, you can warp back like nothing happened. We could even make one that would activate if your heart rate got too high."

"Tony I don't know." Bruce sighed. "Even the middle of nowhere has people."

"Then I'll buy an island for the Hulk to smash in the middle of the ocean. I'll even put a fake city on it if he wants."

"I couldn't ask for you to do that Tony."

"And you don't have to. I just want you to relax a bit more. God knows the government wants you relaxed."

"Tony—"

"So are you in? Or do I have to hire some greasy college intern to sneeze all over your lab."

"Do all of your threats have to be diseased?"

"I'll make it a requirement if it would make you work with me."

"Alright Tony, when do we start?"

"As soon as Thor comes back from Asgard tomorrow."

"So can I get back to the lab now?"

"Sure thing." Tony replied as Bruce stood up. "And pick an ocean you think the Hulk would like best."

"Don't buy an island Tony."


	3. Step 3: Commuting

After three days with little success, the team began to lighten their search efforts. A lengthy investigation by SHIELD proved that neither Tony nor Bruce had been kidnapped by anyone on their wanted lists, so the team at least had the peace of mind knowing that they probably were safe. At the very least they had seemingly gone missing of their own free will.

Thor's whereabouts were an entirely different matter. SHIELD had long since given up on trying to keep track of where he went ever since the Bifrost was repaired. He freely traveled back to Asgard for weeks at a time, but he had always come back when they needed him (though how he knew he was needed was a question that kept Fury up at night).

The only logical explanation that any of the remaining Avengers could settle on was that they would wander back soon enough on their own. At the very least they all knew that Tony would have to come back sooner or later, if only to collect his things.

This was why Steve was currently sitting in the living room of Stark Tower all alone. The remaining team had been maintaining a constant watch of the premises waiting for Tony to return. Steve had been there since midnight going on his twelfth hour. He was getting sleepy doing nothing, but Clint would be back any moment to relieve him so he could get some sleep.

Steve pulled himself off the couch and turned off the TV. He needed a fresh mug of coffee to help him wake up a bit more so that he could make it back to his room when Clint showed up. The newfangled coffee machines of the modern day were not as complex as he initially thought it would be. Tony had a very simple machine where all he had to do was open the lid and put a small plastic cup inside and push one button and it would be done in a minute. It was one of the few things in the house that Steve could actually use completely on his own.

He put his designated red, white, and blue Captain America mug under the dispenser (Tony had run out and bought personalized mugs, thinking it would be hilarious if everyone drank out of their own merchandise) and placed the plastic cup inside. One of the drawback of the super-soldier serum was that coffee was not as effective for him as it was for other people. Usually it would take a whole pot of coffee just to give him the same buzz everyone else got from one cup. Thankfully, Tony had ordered a special blend of super caffeinated coffee just for the Captain to save him from having to drink so much, though Steve was sure that Tony occasionally drank a cup or two himself when working on late night projects. But he did not mind sharing.

Steve leaned on the counter as the machine gurgled and filled his mug. He had been up for over a whole day looking for Tony, Bruce, and Thor, and it was beginning to catch up with him. He needed some sleep if he was ever going to be ready to defend the city in case something really nasty decided to attack while half of their team had gone AWOL. Steve knew that Tony and Bruce were not soldiers (and he had no idea how to regard Thor as a prince), but he did not ever think that they would just run off like this. Surely they realized that when they joined the team that they had a responsibility to that team? Maybe their little group was not as strong as he had thought? They had not known each other for very long, maybe a situation like this was only a matter of time?

The machine had gone silent for a few minutes while Steve was turning these thoughts over in his head. His exhaustion got the better of him because he had not realized that his eyes were closed. He pushed himself off the counter, hoping to push a little energy into his body and turned around to retrieve his coffee. He drew his hand back from the machine slightly when he noticed that his mug was not there like he remembered. He could have sworn that he put his mug right there.

Looking around the machine and one the floor he could not see any sign that he had forgotten the mug and it had poured out onto the floor. And opening the machine showed the Captain that the plastic cup was still there and had been used. He could smell the scent of the coffee in the air. So where in the world did it go?

Steve began searching the immediate area for the coffee. He was slightly glad that Tony was missing, because if he were here he would have likely made a joke about his age, saying that his memory was going bad. He could practically hear Tony snickering to himself now, it almost make Steve laugh a little. He sighed in resignation and closed his eyes to think. Maybe he had picked it up and forgotten where he had put it down? It happens.

"Now where did I put it?" Steve mumbled to himself as he tried to think. But he was so tired, it was becoming more and more difficult not to fall asleep. "I'll just make another one." He decided and opened his eyes to see his mug sitting on the counter in front of him.

Steve took a small step back in surprise. Had it been there the whole time? Was he that tired that he had just not seen it? He took hold of the coffee and let the warmth sink into his hands. The mug was not as full as he thought it should have been. It looked as if part of it had been drunken already, but maybe he had pushed the wrong cup size on the machine, it would not hurt to make a second cup to add to this one.

However upon getting a second cup ready Steve found that the machine was missing from it's spot on the counter, as well as his newly found coffee. Now either he was so sleep deprived that he was losing it, or someone was messing with him. He chose the latter. No way he was that tired to hallucinate that much for that long. Someone was up to something.

"I know you're in here!" Steve shouted as he slowly began to back out of the small kitchen and look around his surroundings. "Just come out now and we'll talk about this." He was met with only silence. After a few minutes of silence Steve gave up and put a hand to his face.

Maybe he was that tired to dream up making coffee. "Tony you owe me big time. JARVIS, tell Tony that he literally might be driving me crazy with his disappearing act."

"Of course." JARVIS answered as Steve sat on the couch, "Sir, Mr. Rogers wishes to inform you that he believed that your actions are making him insane. Do you have a response you wish for me to give him?"

Steve shot up from his spot like lightning. "JARVIS, where is Tony?"

"Shush!" Steve heard hissing from the room. It was close. "I cannot say, Mr. Rogers." The AI replied.

"Tony! Tony where ar-" Steve turned around to see Tony standing right in front of him with a small bag slung around his shoulder. "Tony! Where have you been?"

"Aw, crap..." Tony looked around the room really fast, "sorry Cap. Um, this is just a dream. OOooooOOooOOOooo." Tony waved his arms around a little, but when it became obvious that he was not buying it he quickly pushed Steve back slightly before bolting for the balcony as fast as he could.

"Tony! Tony wait!" Steve yelled as he tried to run after the man, but for some reason he was not making any headway. No matter how hard he ran he did not move forward at all. Suddenly Steve began falling forward, only he never fell, but just began spinning around in a forward tumble. "Tony! TONY! Tony, help!" Maybe this was a dream after all?

Suddenly Steve heard a loud roaring sound like a waterfall had suddenly manifested outside of the tower. And then gravity returned and everything went black as Steve fell to the floor, finally getting his much needed rest.

* * *

Three days earlier…

Thor was running late and it was making Tony nervous. He was beginning to wonder if something had gone wrong. Either that, or Thor got distracted, which would be just a bad. With his extended lifespan, a small distraction for Thor could be a lifetime for him. Tony understood that Thor must of had some Asgardian duties to perform, being a prince and all, but surely he could take some time off to drop off some books. Tony really hoped that whatever was keeping Thor was not serious, but he better be fighting for his life to get those books to him, otherwise he had no business being nearly four hours late.

"Is he here yet?" Bruce asked as he readjusted himself on his chair.

"No." He groaned back. "Thor better be dying or I'm putting blue hair dye in his conditioner."

"You really want to anger a thunder god that just did you a huge favor?"

"Ugh, fine." Tony groaned again. Bruce was right, as usual when it came to these things.

"He'll be here. Just give him some time."

"Yeah but-"

Suddenly there was a loud booming sound of thunder and a blinding light coming from the balcony. Tony jumped up in surprise. That had to have been Thor's inter-dimensional transport. This only confirmed all of Tony's suspicions about magic, it sure was showy.

"My friends!" Thor shouted arms wide to embrace Tony and Bruce once they reached the balcony eager to greet them. "Things have been well in my absence, I pray?"

"Yeah everything's been spiffy." Tony smirked and looked up down and behind Thor. "Were you able to get anything?"

"Nay," Thor shook his head. "Father would not permit any tomes on magic to leave Asgard for the protection of the nine realms."

"Oh," Tony sighed, slightly disappointed that his shortcut was pulled out from underneath him. But this was not the first drawback he had faced, and it certainly was not going to be the last. "Alright Bruce, plan B. Let's see if we can figure this out from scratch."

"Don't be discouraged so easily my friends" Thor shook Tony and Bruce a little. "Hope is not lost." Thor pulled the pair very close to himself. "Heimdall!"

"Wait, wha-"

Suddenly a pillar of every color light possible crashed upon them like a waterfall. At first the weight of the light pushed against Tony's shoulders so hard that he would have fallen to the floor if Thor was not holding him up. Suddenly the crushing weight vanished, and was replaced with a vacuum pulling him up higher and higher. He could not make out much, just wave after wave of color flashing past his eyes. He could not breathe, but for some reason he did not feel like he had to. He could not move either, but he did not know if that was because Thor had pinned his limbs in his embrace, or if the light had somehow paralyzed him. Probably both.

After a few technicolor seconds of horror, the lights faded and Tony could breathe once more.

He decided to fill his first few gasps of air with expletives.

"What the hell was that Thor?" Was among one of the kinder phrases to leave Tony's mouth. It was also one of the last before his breathing evened out.

"Welcome, my friends, to Asgard!" Thor smiled and opened his arms wide to free the pair.

"You brought us to your crazy ass planet?" Tony coughed and took a good look at his surroundings. Everything was shiny. Ridiculously shiny. Shiny beyond all reason. From the rainbow colored sheet of light to the massive golden palace on the other side and everything in between. It was all shiny. Yet Tony had to admit. It was rather awesome looking.

"Oh," Bruce groaned from his place on the floor. He was on his knees, holding his stomach and wiping his mouth.

"You okay, buddy?" Tony asked helping him up.

Bruce nodded, "I think so. But the Other Guy did not like that. What happened?"

"Looks like Thor took us to Fancy Town." Tony smiled and patted Bruce's chest.

"I have brought you to Asgard." Thor repeated, a little less joyously that before. "Have I upset you?"

"No, no of course not." Bruce stood up a bit more. "But is it okay to be here? I mean, you're not worried about setting the Hulk loose on your world?"

Thor laughed a little. "Do not fret my friend. Asgardians do battle against giants, ogres, and trolls. We are quite capable of defending ourselves against your other half. At least until you regain control."

"So why are we here Thor?" Tony asked taking another good long look out at the realm.

"In order for you to have access to the requested tomes I had to bring you here." Thor explained as he joined Tony. "Father would not permit they leave Asgard, but he agreed that you may come here to study magic instead. Come, he wishes to see you both. Heimdall! Have the horses arrived?"

"Yes, my prince." A deep voiced echoed behind them.

Tony turned and was met by a very tall man with a pair of impossibly golden eyes that seemed to stare right through him. A sudden wave of intimidation swept over him. He had not felt this way since his father had looked down on him as a child. He did not like it at all.

"Thank you Heimdall. We shall be off now," Thor smiled as he guided them further down the path to a small stable where four horses stood waiting for them.

"Wait wait wait wait," Tony stammered. "We have to take horses? There isn't a tram or a car that can come pick us up?"

"'Nay," Thor replied pulling the reins on of what Tony assumed were three of Asgard's finest stallions. "We ride to the palace."

"Yeah, no. Not gonna happen." Tony announced as he backed away from his steed. "I'm not riding a horse all the way."

"Come on Tony, get on the horse." Bruce sighed from atop his own animal.

"No way in hell. I played spaceman, not cowboy."

"Something wrong my friend?" Thor asked trotting over to Tony. "Is the beast not to your liking?"

"The horse is fine, Thor." Bruce answered. "Tony just refuses to ride it."

"It's not that. I just don't know how to ride one." Tony admitted, kicking the ground a little.

Thor laughed. "Did you not learn riding in your youth?"

"They don't teach this sort of thing in school. It's kind of out-dated," Bruce explained.

"Honestly I never thought it would come up." Tony tried to defend himself. He did not feel like it was working.

"Very well Stark," Tony suddenly found himself being picked up by the arm and hoisted onto Thor's horse. "You shall ride with me."

They were at full gallop before Tony could protest any further. He was holding on to Thor's torso with an iron grip. Looking out over the edge of the colorful bridge, made his stomach drop.

All he could see beneath them was the empty void of space with the occasional star cluster dotting the darkness. No way he was getting thrown off into that. He had almost been lost in space once in his life, and he was still having some problems with that, he could not imagine the years of therapy he would need if he fell into space twice. Tony buried his face into Thor's back and counted the seconds until the whole ordeal was over.

Thankfully, they rode for about only fifteen minutes before they began to slow down to a gentle trot. Tony risked a peek at his surroundings only to find the trio was being greeted by what looked to be the whole of Asgard.

"Thor," Tony said though the professional smile that suddenly appeared on his face, the same smile he gave reporters when they catch him off guard. "What is going on here?"

"Fear not, my friends. Asgard is celebrating our arrival!" Thor answered as he waved at the crowd, looking like he was used to doing this sort of thing.

Bruce did not look happy to suddenly be the center of attention. He pulled the reins close to his chest, only occasionally returning a wave to the crowd around them. After a few minutes of cheering, Bruce did seem to relax a bit more, likely realizing that no one wanted to cause him any harm.

Tony was, of course, was regretting not manning up and riding his own horse to the palace. Of course they were going to be met with a parade, Thor was royalty. It would be only natural to give him the VIP treatment. And of course, this was not just any old trip back, he had brought with him his fighting buddies from another realm. They probably saw Bruce and him as something special to have earned the friendship of their prince.

However, it was demeaning clinging onto Thor like a damsel in distress. It was a serious wound for his ego that he was going to have to make up for as soon as possible. If all went well, no one back on Earth would ever find out about this embarrassing little blunder. Thank heaven the press could not follow him here. He would never be able to live it down.

"Just smile and wave, Brucie-boy." Tony said as they trotted closer and closer to the palace. "It can't get any crazier right?"


	4. Step 4: Public Relations

Clint hummed to himself softly as he took the long elevator ride up to the living area of Stark Tower. It had always annoyed him ever since he moved in that the building was also used as an office building. It made it slightly embarrassing for him to come and go, given that he had to pass by the security desk and a lobby full of people every time he wanted to go outside. Sure there was Stark's private elevator in a secluded part of the building, but for some reason it was not functioning when Clint tried to use it. Using this elevator only had the mild inconvenience of having to swipe his Avengers ID for clearance, but he had to share the elevator with Stark's employees, who eyed him suspiciously when he entered and had not stopped asking him questions once they caught him with his ID card. This was what he got for being late he guessed. He hoped that the coffee that he swiped from one of the building's conference rooms would help make up for it.

"Hey Steve, sorry I'm late!" He shouted once the elevator finally made it to the living area. Clint was met with silence. "Steve? Where are you?" He set the coffee down on the counter and began to search the area. "Dammit Steve, don't you disappear on me too."

Thankfully, Clint quickly found the Captain fast asleep and laid sprawled on the floor a good way from the couch. He laughed to himself softly that poor Steve could not even make it that far as he knelt down next to him, shaking his arm slightly. "Hey, sleepy-head. Rise and shine."

Steve groaned softly at the motion and slowly began to pull himself up. "Clint?" Steve began rubbing his head. "Aw, what happened? My head's killing me."

"You must have passed out from exhaustion." Clint said as he helped Steve move over to the couch. "Here, I brought you some coffee. Sorry for being late. I know it's not as strong as your other stuff, but this should at least help you get back to your senses."

"Thanks." Steve said as he happily took the cup. However, Steve's eyes suddenly lit up like he had just remembered something. "Tony! Tony was here!"

"What?"

"While you were gone. I was trying to make some coffee myself, but the mug went missing, then it came back, then the machine and the mug vanished, then I saw Tony, and I tried to chase him when he ran to the balcony, but when I ran I didn't go anywhere and-"

"Whoa, slow down there Cap." Clint sat up and took the coffee away from Steve. "You sure that you did not just dream this up?"

"Yes. I think so. I'm sure. Maybe?" Steve rubbed his head again. "I'm pretty sure I really saw him. I think."

Clint sighed as Steve continued to debate with himself if he was dreaming or not. Poor Steve looked so confused. "You said he ran out onto the balcony?" Steve nodded. "Okay, Steve, you head on over to bed and sleep this off. Once you're well rested you'll probably remember more. In the meantime, I'll have a look around and see if I can find any clues."

"Alright." Steve said weakly as he pulled himself off of the couch and shuffled down the hall to his room.

Once he was sure that the Captain had made it safely into bed, Clint ran out onto the balcony to look for clues. The balcony on question was definitely way too high up for Tony to just climb down. SHIELD had placed motion sensors on all of Tony's suits, so he knew that Tony had not flown off as Iron man. It was possible for someone to pick him up from a helicopter though. Being in the city, it would be difficult to look for the usual signs for a vehicle pickup. He could not see any signs of recent damage on any of the surrounding buildings either, so that cut out some of the more violent possibilities, or that the Hulk was involved. Maybe Steve was just dreaming after all. Stark was going to owe them all a vacation after having to deal with all of this.

* * *

It had been a crazy homecoming, much more than Bruce was expecting. He thought that all of Asgard was on the bridge to greet them. He was wrong. When they arrived at the palace, Tony practically threw himself off of the horse before a stable boy could offer his hand and bruise his ego even further. As soon as their feet hit the ground, a swarm had them surrounded, shouting greeting to them. Some came up and hugged Thor, or gave him a strong slap on the back. It was all Tony could manage not to be pushed to the ground and stampeded upon with the way the crowd was acting. Bruce just crept his way towards Thor, never wishing to be invisible more in his life.

The royal guard soon swooped in, forming a barrier around the trio and the excited crowd. After they had put a stop to the rampage they led the three to Odin's chambers.

"Quite the security team you've got here Thor," Tony commented looking at the tall gilded guardsmen. "You think I could borrow a few of them for my next press release? Press has been getting a little close recently."

"Tony, shush." Bruce slapped Tony's arm with the back of his hand. He could not help but eye the guards spears as they walked. They made sure not to leave any space between them for anyone to slip through; in or out.

Thor continued to beam happily as they walked. He seemed to be in his natural element, he hardly seemed to mind the escort. Thor likely had them around his whole life. Bruce had to remind himself that Thor was royal, he had guards and servants, it was not all uncommon for him.

When they reached the throne room, Bruce could not help but let out a small gasp. The room was absolutely huge. It was large enough to fit the massive crowd that had met them outside, however the room was empty apart from the two golden thrones at the very end of the room with an older man with grey hair and one eye, and a beautiful woman on each throne. As they entered their escort split and took their places at the edges of the room and around the doors.

With the guards gone, Bruce finally felt himself relax slightly. Thor sped up to walk in front of the group. He quickly fell to one knee and bowed before the throne.

Thor smiled grandly. "All Father, it is good to see you once more."

Odin nodded, allowing a small smile on his face. "Indeed, my son. It truly is." Thor stood as Bruce and Tony caught up with Thor. "Now, Midgardians; my son has told me of your quest. You wish to learn magic, correct?"

"That's right, um, All Father." Bruce was not sure how to address him. It seemed to have been enough.

Odin continued. "Normally, we would require that those from other worlds would prove themselves worthy of such knowledge. However, your brave work bringing Loki back to Asgard has proved most impressive. Therefore, I shall allow you two to learn our magic on the condition that you solemnly swear not teach these ways to those who would use it for ill, and that you honor and preserve our scrolls and books within our archives."

"Of course," Bruce muttered, a bit nervous about the whole thing. "We shall do our best to obey your conditions." Bruce gave a small bow after his promise.

Tony stood still, dumbfounded and in shock at the whole of it. Within a brief moment, Tony recovered his press-smile and raised his arms above his head.

"Oh, great Allfather! King of all-OW!" Bruce elbowed him in the ribs.

"Excuse him, sir. Please. Thank you, sir. This is a wonderful gift. Thank you."

"The pleasure is mine. We are preparing a feast in your honor to welcome you our guests. Lady Sif and the Warriors Three will attend as well, and are thrilled to see you, my son."

"And I, them," Thor smiled.

"Until then, perhaps you should show the Midgardians the grounds. Perhaps show where they shall be staying."

"Of course! Come, my friends." Thor bowed once more, only this time with a small half bow. Bruce bent at his waist and pushed Tony down a little as well. They stood up and followed Thor outside, rushing to catch up.

"I believe it best to take you to our royal archives first. You will not have enough time to study them to your liking before the feast, however you can get acquainted with them and with the grounds," Thor suggested.

"Sounds good as long as I don't have to ride a horse again," Tony crossed his arms. "Big Daddy Odin did say we are staying in the palace, right?"

Thor let out a hearty laugh. "Yes, Man of Iron, I shall show you to your rooms after dinner."

They had walked for several minutes through identical hallways with breathtaking views at every turn when Thor suddenly stopped in front of a large door, hesitancy written on his face.

"S'up, point-break?" Tony asked.

Thor paused and spoke slowly as if to pick his words carefully. "This may displease you both, however, this door leads to where my brother is being kept."

"What, he's being kept here? In the palace?" Tony dragged his hand across his face. "Don't you have a dungeon realm or something? The English had Australia."

"Though Loki has committed crimes, he is still of Asgardian royalty. He is safe in the palace dungeon."

"Oh you have got to be kidding me." Tony frowned and opened his mouth to speak again.

Bruce interrupted before Tony could say no. "Thor, I understand you want to see your brother. We won't mind if you want to visit him for a little while."

Thor smiled gratefully but Tony rolled his eyes further in protest. "Like hell we wi-!"

"Thank you, friends. I have not been to visit in quite some time. I wish to see that he is doing well."

Thor turned away and walked past guards into a large building. Tony turned to Bruce.

"Really? Are you serious?" Tony asked angrily.

"Hey, we want Asgard on our side, right? Besides, maybe we should get Loki to like us so we can get more help learning magic."

"He threw me out of a window when I offered him a drink!"

"In his defense, sometimes I want to throw you out of a window too," Bruce muttered and followed Thor down the dark stone stairs. Tony shrugged his shoulders and scoffed, "Unbelievable."

* * *

There were fewer guards in the palace dungeon than Tony would have thought. Only two men stood by the doors as they entered, while another pair stood guard further down the dark hallway. Only one large square light filled the darkness of the endless hallway.

"Not many in the slammer, huh Thor?" Tony tried to make light of the situation, but to be honest, the whole thing seemed rather depressing.

"Nay," Thor said somberly, not breaking eye contact with the white light. "Loki is the only prisoner here."

They walked down the stone steps to the lower level where the light was. The walk seemed to be miles but it was only a couple of yards before they reached the large glass pane that was the wall for Loki's barren white cell. Tony and Bruce stayed slightly behind Thor once they caught sight of Loki. His conditions were Spartan to say the least. He did have anything in the cell with him, no books, no scrolls, no blankets. The poor guy did not even have a bed. Just a large white room with a glass wall and a bright light.

Tony could not help but think of an exhibit at the zoo, watching an animal roam about it's cage safe behind the thick glass while the poor beast sat bored and alone out of it's natural environment. Peaking around Thor, Tony could see Loki laying on the floor in a mass of black and green, his back turned from the glass. If this guy had not thrown him out of a window and destroyed his tower and city, he would almost feel sorry for him.

"Loki." Thor said hardily over a whisper as he approached the glass. "Brother, I've come to see you."

The mass moved slightly but did not turn around. Looks like Loki was not up for company from big bro.

"Brother, please, don't act like this." Thor looked down sadly, Tony guessed that this was not the first time Loki had snubbed Thor when he came to visit. "I've brought guests with me this time if you do not wish to speak with me."

Loki still did not budge. Tony took it upon himself to lighten the mood. He walked up to the cell and began tapping the glass like a five year old with a fish tank. "Do you think he's dead in there? I don't see any air holes." Tony could see Loki's head turn, likely puzzled at the unfamiliar voice. "Hey, Loki, do something already. Bruce and I are getting bored."

That made Loki move a bit more. Slowly, but surely, Loki sat up and turned around to face them, confusion and a touch of pain on his face. Tony waved his hand high in the air once he caught a glimpse of Loki's green eyes and did his best to give him a big smile, anything to try and lift Thor's spirits.

"Hey there Loki-doki. How's the big house treating ya?" Tony shouted as Loki stood up quickly.

"What vile torture is this?!" Loki spat as he approached the glass. "First you defile the hallowed halls of Asgard with your so called guests, and now you have come to have me mocked by mortals!"

"Should I be offended? I'm feeling a bit offended." Tony said looking from Thor to Loki.

"They are not here to mock you brother." Thor looked down at the ground. He looked like he was regretting bringing them along on this little visit. "The Dr. Banner and the man of iron are here to learn magic."

Loki seemed to let out a short, genuine laugh at that. "Magic! The mortals wish to learn magic. Now Thor, I do believe you have found someone less intelligent than yourself." Loki walked closer to the glass, a cruel smile on his face. "Magic is not something a mortal can master. And it certainly is not something they should be permitted to control. You should learn your place!"

"Loki, enough!"

"Have I struck a nerve, Thor?" Loki smiled again. "Does Asgard's prince bow to mortals now? Do you answer their every prayer and lick their boots as well? Is there no hope for Asgard?"

"Loki!"

"Are you going to give them control of the Bifrost next? Or perhaps you'll surrender Mjolnir to them? You should be careful Thor, or you shall lose yourself to these sniveling creatures."

Thor growled loudly before turning away from Loki in frustration, choosing to walk down the dark corridor to keep from saying something he would regret. Tony and Bruce were left face-to-face with the imprisoned man.

"So, about that magic then?" Tony began once the silence was becoming too much for him. "Any pointers you wanna share?"

"Don't meddle with what you cannot understand, mortal!" Loki turned to pace around his cell. "You wish to pursue something that takes centuries to master. You would be deep in the grips of Niffelheim before you even can grasp the simplest of spells."

"What if we just focus on teleportation?" Bruce suddenly asked. Loki seemed surprised to see Bruce. He seemed to have finally recognized him.

Loki let out a quick little chuckle. "So, he brought the monster to Asgard? Do you wish to take the throne by force, Thor?" He shouted this a little louder so that Thor could hear him from down the hall. "Did you bring him to me so I can release the beast for you?"

"Look Loki, I'm enjoying seeing you play hard to get with Thor and all," Tony started, sounding as if he was trying to close a business deal, "but me and Brucie-bear are trying to make a teleporter. And it would be really great if maybe you could give us a hand every now and then. The sooner we figure this out, the sooner we leave you alone."

"Mortal's do not possess the capacity for the mystic arts. Perhaps with enough time a competent mortal could master such an art with my assistance. However I doubt either of you would qualify. Especially not a mindless beast and a heartless man."

"Hey!" Tony was going to start yelling but Bruce stepped between them. "Out of the way Bruce!"

"This is what he wants Tony," Bruce sighed in a measured voice. "All he wants is to get a rise out of you and get you angry." He leaned closer to Tony. "Let's just go, we might not even need his help. He's not going to give us anything at this rate anyway."

Tony took a long moment to stare at Loki, who only smiled sinisterly at them in return. "Alright, I see we made you cranky, waking you up from your nap. You be sure to get all rested up for when we come back to rub our magical skills in your face."

"Good bye Loki." Bruce said as he pushed Tony back towards the door where Thor was waiting.

They walked out of the dungeon and down the bright golden corridor for while before Thor finally broke the silence.

"Forgive me, my friends. I did not mean for my brother to speak to you in such a manner. I just thought he would be willing to aid you in your studies."

"Don't worry about it big guy." Tony sighed and continued. "Loki is a bit of a tough nut to crack. We'll break him open and get to his helpful center. But you have the two smartest people on Earth right here. We probably won't even need his help at all."

"Thank you my friends, you are truly kind." Thor gave each of them a strong pat on the shoulder. "Come, I shall show you to your rooms before dinner."

* * *

**A/N: Special to jakiratsenekazu for writing half of the Bruce and Tony bits in this chapter! No one writes the Science Bros like she does.**


	5. Step 5: Accommodations

Clint sighed before taking another sip of his coffee. Steve's story just would not leave his head. The super-soldier was not one to ramble on about a crazy dream. Steve was absolutely convinced that he had seen Tony, and that had to warrant a small investigation. And since he had nothing else to do on guard duty, he might as well look into it. A quick look around the balcony yielded nothing but the fact that there was a striking lack of cameras, not even anything for JARVIS to see with, though he knew that the AI could still hear. If his spy training taught him anything, it was a lack of clues was sometimes just as good a real evidence.

He opened his SHIELD issued laptop and began accessing the collected security camera footage from around the building. The only salvageable film was from the entrances and exits. The top of the building however, was a complete mystery. After a small incident with the press renting out the rooms level to the livable areas of Stark Tower in the surrounding buildings and started running 'In the Lives of New York's Finest Heroes' every other day, Stark had installed an anti-camera field that made it impossible to get an image. Unfortunately, this also included SHIELD's cameras. However they were not completely blind. Sure there was a massive glaring hole in the footage, but that did not mean that they did not have an eye on the rest of the area. And it was in this area that Hawkeye noticed something interesting. Clint smiled to himself as he pulled out his phone and began calling Fury to report on his findings.

"What is it Barton?" Fury answered angrily after a few rings.

"Afternoon to you too, sir." Clint could not help but be snarky, not when he had almost solved the puzzle. "I've got good news for you. Steve spotted Stark."

"Where!" It was more of a command than a question.

"At the Tower about an hour ago, however he managed to avoid capture."

"You let him get away!" Fury was really living up to his name today.

"He had somehow managed to subdue Steve before making his getaway. According to the account Steve gave, Tony broke into the tower and took his coffee and ran out onto the balcony. It's suspected that he also got away with a small bag of other things, currently unknown, and the only coffee machine Steve knew how to use."

"And are you sure it was Stark?"

"Steve seemed convinced yes. Also who else would break into the Tower and not steal any of the weapons down in the lab but nab the coffee maker."

"So besides knowing that Stark is alive and well, what is the good news, Hawkeye?"

"Well, sir, I took a look at the footage and I noticed something odd." Hawkeye pulled up the video files and sent them to Fury for reference. "As you can see, this is the footage of the balcony area the day Stark and Banner vanished. And right here," He paused on a single frame. "There is a small bright light going up from the balcony, and it reappears about a minute later on in the video. This same phenomenon occurs during the time frame Steve claims to have seen Stark. It's only there for a few frames, so I don't blame your interns for missing it."

"Are you sure that this light is not just some glitch due to the distortion field?"

"Absolutely. The light appears at the same time on every camera feed we can get a hold of. Even ours, sir."

"So what does this mean Barton?"

"I might know where they are, but you won't like it."

"Spit it out Barton, where are they?"

"Alright," He sighed and continued. "This is not the first time this light has appeared. SHIELD has various images and recordings of this same light appearing around the Tower, as well as other areas, however we never paid it much mind. I believe this is the same light that shows up right before Thor does, or in this case, right before he vanishes. Sir," Clint closed his eyes, breathing out heavily. "I believe they are in Asgard."

Clint never received a response. All he heard was the line disconnect and then blissful silence. He did not dare call back though, Fury was likely in the middle of a rampage after hearing the news. It would take a few hours for Fury to officially confirm Barton's theory, but he knew that it was likely true. He smiled to himself again. Fury would likely kill Tony himself for ruining his chance at exclusively controlling Earth-Asgard relations.

He hoped Tony would get back soon, if only to bear witness to the verbal lashing Fury was going to give him. He might even have to rig the confrontation in the Tower so JARVIS could record it.

* * *

The rooms Thor had given them were impressive to say the least. Both Tony and Bruce had their own rooms, one on each side of the room Thor was staying in (though it was not Thor's actual room, but he wanted to make sure that he was close in case they needed anything). Each room had a large, soft bed in thick and warm golden sheets and pillows in the middle of an equally large room equipped with a desk and fireplace, a few books lay scattered on the desk in Tony and Bruce's rooms that Thor had brought up for them to study before hitting the library, if they wished. The rooms were a lot brighter than Tony would have thought with it being lit only by candles.

To Tony's relief Asgard had heard of indoor plumbing, at least as far as toilets were concerned, however baths still had to be drawn by hand, but Thor assured them that they could ask any of the servants to take care of that or anything else that they needed. Bruce was a bit uncomfortable with the idea of ordering people around like that, but Tony seemed to take to it a bit easier. He had always been rich, he likely had people waiting on him ever since he was a kid.

Eventually a servant appeared and informed the trio that the feast was ready and that they were to report to the grand dining hall.

Thor wrapped an arm around the two men. "I am excited to be able to treat you to an Asgardian feast my friends! Our feasts are legendary across the realms. I cannot imagine a better welcome for my brothers in arms."

"Are you sure it's okay for us to go like this?" Bruce stammered as they walked. "We're not under-dressed are we? It is a royal affair, after all."

"Worry not, friend Banner. All are guests are welcome to come as they are to Odin's table. You will not be turned away because you lack the proper robes. Though if it would make you feel better, I can arrange something for you."

"No, no, no need." Bruce looked away, slightly embarrassed, he should not have said anything.

"Relax, Brucie, this is all to welcome us, huh, Thor?" Tony shouted with excitement and Thor nodded in response.

When the three walked into the dining hall, they were met with grandeur. Gold furniture lined the middle of the room. The walls were decorated with portraits of Asgardian royalty and possessions taken from battle. The large, rectangular table was lined with a royal red tablecloth, golden plates, gauntlets, and utensils placed on top of them.

Thor let them go to greet the other guests standing around the room. Tony leaned towards Bruce. "Check it out. There must be a millions portraits of Thor in here. I bet we could make him a Covergirl or a Loreal model in five minutes with all this stock."

"Tony."

"Man, is everything made of gold here?" Tony sighed as he picked a fork off the table. "How rich is Thor? Seriously, I'm the rich one of the group. Thor can't be the pretty one and the rich one."

Bruce frowned. "Please don't get us chased out of here by an angry mob."

Tony smirked and patted Bruce's chest with the back of his hand. "C'mon, it's a party! Lighten-up, Banner." Tony put on his best PR face and walked towards Thor's group with open arms.

"Yeah, no problem," Bruce muttered and followed Tony.

"These are my Midgardian friends!" Thor said as they approached. "This is Tony, Son of Stark and this is Bruce, Son of Banner." Tony flicked his wrist, brought his arm around his side, and bent slightly at the waist. Bruce gave a small smile, raised his hand and jerked it back down. "My friends, these are the greatest warriors Asgard has to offer, Hogun the Grim, Volstagg the Valiant, Fandral the Dashing, and Lady Sif, the strongest female warrior. We have had many an adventure together."

Sif smiled softly at her introduction and extended her hand towards Tony and Bruce while the other three beamed and brought Bruce and Tony into bear-hugs.

"It is an honor to meet the warriors of Midgard!" Volstagg shouted. "Thor has told us of your valiant battles. Perhaps we may have a spar after our feast to test your skill!"

"No!" Bruce yelled. His eyes widened at the sudden silence after his outburst. He slumped his shoulders back down and wringed his hands together. "No, that's... that's not a good idea."

Tony gave Bruce an encouraging smile and put an arm around his shoulders. "Yeah, I don't want to sound like a party pooper or anything, but I have to agree. This was kinda a surprise trip. I don't have my, eh, special armor with me right now and Bruce only has one set of clothing. And gold just isn't his color. Maybe we'll fight some other time."

"Indeed, friends. Perhaps tales of our adventures shall suffice?" Thor encouraged.

"Of course, but be prepared, Midgardians. When the time comes, we will not hold back!" Fandral laughed.

"Yeah, I'll pencil you in some time," Tony smirked. "So, Lady Sif. Are you seeing anyone or-."

"Announcing the arrival of Odin Allfather and Queen Frigga! May you take your seats and let the feast begin!" A guard interrupted.

"Oh, thank God," Bruce pushed Tony away from the group and towards the table.

The feast went off without a hitch. Odin sat at the head of the table, Frigga to his left and Thor to his right. Bruce sat next to Thor and Tony next to Bruce. Sif sat next to Frigga, followed by Volstagg, Hogun, and Fandral. When the food was placed on the table, they all served themselves, Bruce and Tony waiting until the others were done to prevent their arms from being mistaken for food, which was entirely likely. They were being served dishes that were only vaguely recognizable and that was only a strong guess as to what was meat, or vegetables, or maybe soup. It was difficult to tell sometimes. Tony just took a gamble and grabbed one of whatever he could reach and ate it however he felt convenient. Bruce on the other hand, made a copy of Frigga's plate, deciding it was probably the safest bet, which left him with something that he decided to call chicken and a small salad. Once everyone had claimed their first round, the conversation began with Frigga making the first move.

"Tell us, Midgardians! Why do you wish to learn our ways of magic?"

"We want to learn your magic to further advance our world's science and technology," Bruce explained. "We hope that, with the help of Asgard, we could create easier transportation for people. We may even be able to advance our medicine and healing for the sick."

"Bruce, this isn't a research thesis." Tony scoffed after a loaded swallow. "What he means to say is that we think that we can try to combine magic and technology to help advance people's lives. While we're here we could work on a bit of a cultural exchange. Give you some technology here, glean some magic there. Just work to overall make the seven-"

"Nine."

"Nine realms a better place to live."

"Aye, and Stark would be the man to do it!" Thor said proudly. "In his world, he is very popular for being wonderful with technology and having the resources to make new creations. With the help of Banner, who is an intelligent man of science as well, I do believe they could help Midgard and perhaps even Asgard. Perhaps you would demonstrate thine prowess, Stark?"

"Yeah sure, in a bit" Tony looked up from his Starkphone for a second. Sif and the Warriors Three ooed at his phone.

"How long have you had your phone?" Banner asked flatly.

"About this whole time. Can't really use it. Out of range and all."

"Son of Stark," Hogun caught his attention. "What does it do?"

"Yes," Volstagg continued between bites, "It looks awfully small to be very useful."

"Oh it's useful. Won't find a Midgardian in their right mind without one. Just gotta compile this last bit of code here and...Boom! JARVIS is up and running."

"JARVIS?" Sif asked looking around the room.

Tony put his phone down on the table. "Come on Jarv, don't be shy say hello to everyone."

"Good evening, sir. How may I help you?"

The Asgardians sat straight up in their seats.

"What manner of demon is this?" Fandal asked as he grabbed a knife from the table, ready to stab the phone.

"Friends, at ease!" Thor said, putting the knife back on the table. "JARVIS is Stark's ethereal servant," Thor said, pride in his voice at not being the least knowledgeable Asgardian at the table.

The Asgardians returned to their original positions.

"This JARVIS," Fandal asked, looking at the phone warily. "He is your familiar?"

"What? No, he's just an AI I created years ago. He helps me with my projects and other things. He's a wonderful assistant."

"And you are sure that your familiar is not a demon, nor spirit?" Sif asked trying to get a closer look at the phone, looking like she was debating whether or not she could touch it.

"Nope. Just a bit of technology, a bunch of 1s and 0s. Though now since he can't connect to my servers, he's just a minimalistic Siri."

"That hurts, sir." JARVIS retorted and Tony laughed.

"Ah, I programmed you well."

"He is a servant to you?"

"You could say that, yeah."

The four continued to stare in awe and congratulated Tony on his feat. Frigga and Odin seemed pleased with Stark's prowess.

"Oh boy just what we need, your ego inflated even more," Bruce teased with a slight smile.

"Jealous, Brucie-boy?"

"Your special armor," Volstagg asked. "What the Midgardians call 'Iron Man', did you forge that as well?"

"Yep."

"Intriguing. You are giving our Dwarves quite a competition! Come, you must have tales of your adventure!"

"While I love to hear myself talk, I think Bruce has more tales of adventure than I do," Tony smirked and Bruce. Bruce brought his head up and gave Tony a dark glare.

"Indeed! We have heard of your other self. Pray tell, are you truly a Midgardian?"

"Volstagg!" Sif exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah I'm a, uh, Midgardian," Bruce stuttered.

"Were you born an ordinary Midgardian or were you cursed to-?"

"Volstagg!" Sif hit Volstagg on his chest.

"Yeah, I was born a regular being, like Stark," Bruce turned to Tony. "Right, Stark? Tell us stories about being a normal Midgardian."

Tony chuckled, assuming that Bruce had enough of that torture by now. "Well, I started out with a normal life." Bruce, being freed from answering questions, went back to eating. "I got attacked by these guys and built this thing," Tony tapped his arc reactor with his knife making a slight ringing noise, "that keeps me alive. When I was being held hostage, I created the suit to get out of there and figured, why stop there?"

The Asgardians seemed to have just noticed the faint blue glow of the arc reactor when Tony pointed it out, likely thinking that it was merely a part of his clothing. They seemed bewildered by it. "You need to wear something to stay alive?"

"Yes, the arc reactor, um, if I may?" Tony put a hand to the collar of his shirt and looked to Thor for permission. He glanced to Odin for a second before nodding. Tony pulled his collar down to show the table the top of the arc reactor, which was enough to send another round of amazement around the table. "It's a bit complicated to explain, but it's attached, so I don't really have to worry about forgetting it at home."

"So he light keeps you alive?" Sif asked, sounding slightly concerned.

"Well it's a bit more than a light." Tony smiled and Bruce could see a mischievous glint in Tony's eyes. Tony suddenly stuck his hand down his shirt and before anyone realized it and pulled the arc reactor out of his chest and held it at eye level. "It's one of the smallest, most powerful energy sources on our planet. I've had people try and kill me for this thing. This isn't the first model, though, but it's close to the one I made in that cave they were keeping me in. "

"Tony, put that back!" Bruce shouted, sitting up to try and force Tony's hand. Tony smiled and complied, popping it back into place with a practiced hand.

"Sorry Brucie, couldn't resist making you jump. You've been on edge all night."

"Sorry, I just need some time to get used to the setting." He leaned in close so that only Tony would hear, "I'm not used to being around so many new people, especially violent people."

"Calm down, no one want's to hurt you." Tony shook Bruce's shoulder a little. "Relax, buddy."

"Your machines are very impressive." Odin suddenly said which surprised the table, Odin rarely spoke during feasts.

"You haven't seen nothing yet." Tony beamed as he looked at his phone. "Hey, JARVIS buddy, line up the all of the footage you've got with me and Bruce being awesome and play it back for me."

"Right away, sir." The AI responded and suddenly the screen came to life with video from various news reports and training sessions. Tony picked up the phone and moved it so that Odin and Frigga could get a better look, while the other Asgardians moved so that they could see it as well. The only one who stayed in place was Bruce, who finally was able to relax knowing that no one was paying him any mind.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, but writer's block, and I'm running low on pre-written content. Updates will be a tad bit slower than usual for this reason. Anyway, please leave me comments because I'm not sure what you would like. I'm open for suggestions if you got 'em. I do have a planned out plot, but I could always throw in something if asked. (Or try my best to anyway.) Anyway, thanks for reading and sorry for the delay!**


	6. Step 6: Training

Fury growled silently to himself. He was truly living up to his name today. After all, he only had just discovered that the Avengers' most dangerous members were trapezing around a previously mythical realm. If they did not accidentally set the Hulk loose, Stark would certainly find a way to destroy Asgard with his sassy mouth. This was a political nightmare. All that time trying to set up talks with Odin so that they could draft a treaty was just blown out of the water by those mad scientists.

But at least he knew where they were; that was a start. He could not count how many governments he would have to answer to if he had lost track of the Hulk, not to mention the inevitable public scandal if Tony Stark went missing again. It was bad enough when he vanished when he was just a businessman and a tech giant; now he was super hero, he was in the public eye more than ever. If Iron Man went missing, then they would know that Stark was missing. It was not like they could just have someone take his place; the public would know it was fake as soon as they realized Stark himself was missing. And as much as he wished otherwise, there was no way to replace Tony Stark. Nothing spells panic like a missing hero or two. Public peace was of the utmost importance. As long as the public was safe and relatively happy, he could attempt to sleep at night.

Now he just had to figure out why those two were in Asgard in the first place, and make sure it was not spelling bad news for his planet. He was currently in the process of analyzing Stark's surveillance system to see what he took when he came back. So far things were going smoothly; this was not the first time that SHIELD had to look at his files. He was too much of a loose cannon not to be monitored regularly. Since he had been missing for the last few days, the same holes were there for them to sneak through. It only took an hour to gain access and they had just completed cloning Stark's entire system over to SHIELD's servers.

"The download is complete, Director. Opening most recent files."

"Very good, Quartermaine." Fury nodded his approval. "Review the footage carefully. I wanna know if he took so much as a paperclip back with him, understand?" Fury barked at the analyst in charge of shifting though the collected data.

Things were working out very well indeed. Maybe he should let Stark be irresponsibly distracted more often, it would make keeping tabs on him so much easier on their resources.

As soon as Quartermaine opened a file the the security sirens went off and every screen began flashing red. Fury put a hand to his head, it was about time something went wrong, things had been going his way for too long.

"What happened, Quartermaine?" Fury sighed in frustration, already guessing what was going on.

"Sir, it looks like there was a virus embedded in the files." The agent paused for a second before continuing. "Um, sir, something happened."

"What." It was not so much a question but a command.

"Well," the agent sounded unsure of how to respond. "There is a readme file in here."

"What does it say?"

"Um, 'Hello Director Fury. Don't touch my things. Timeout for twenty-four hours to think about what you have done. I have left plenty of reading material for you. Love Tony Stark.' And a timer has just appeared on the screen. It looks to be counting down from twenty-four hours."

Fury sighed, well that was a setback. Stark had set a trap for them. This was going to make this more difficult. "So much for the easy way. Quartermaine, collect the security footage from around the tower, maybe we can see him through a window or something."

The agent typed quickly on his computer. Then paused, tilting his head in a confused way. Typed again. Paused, then typed and clicked around quickly.

"What's wrong, agent?"

Quartermaine turned around in his chair, looking slightly defeated. "I cannot leave the Stark files. Everytime I try another window comes up. He has locked us out of everything else."

Well at least he knew what Stark had meant by a timeout. "Damn Stark. What did he mean by reading material?"

"It seems all of his files have converted to text documents and audio files, sir." The agent sighed. "Same with the backups we have as well."

Fury practically growled this time. Now they had lost everything they had since he had vanished. They had not even finished sifting through all of that data yet.

"I can't hope that there is anything useful in those files, can I Quartermaine?"

"Shall I read them, sir?"

"Why not, you can't access anything else." Fury stood up from his chair. He needed to clear his head, maybe shoot some targets and let off some steam. "Give me a full report in three hours." Fury stood in front of the automatic doors, however they were not moving. He tried pulling on the manual release, but with each tug it became more and more apparent that the door had locked itself.

"Quartermaine! Get the doors online!"

"I can't sir. Stark's files keep me from opening any other program or file."

"Dammit Stark!" Fury shouted, landing hard in his chair. "This can't get any worse."

* * *

It took a lot to impress the great Tony Stark, however Asgard was coming close. After a long night of showing off to Asgardian royalty, Tony took a long hot bath. He had no idea what was in half of those bottles that the servant that drew his bath had brought in, but they all smelled wonderful and he made a mental note to ask Thor if he could get some to take home with him.

Once he was clean he had found that some red and gold Asgardian nightwear was sitting on his bed that fit him surprisingly well. He grabbed a few books off the top of the pile on his desk and scattered them on the massive bed. He was half way through an introductory magic book before he fell asleep.

He woke up to a soft knock at his door and Bruce slowly peaking his head into the room.

"What's up doc?" Tony yawned as he sat up and the book he was reading fell off his chest onto the bed. "What time is it?"

"I'm not sure, morning at least." Bruce responded as he and Thor walked into the room.

"I see you have been enjoying the books." Thor smiled as he looked at the bed. "Learn anything useful?"

Tony picked up the fallen book and flipped through a few pages, trying to find where he left off. "Maybe? I don't know, most of this is close to a bunch of New Age nonsense. The only thing I can make any sense of is what is scribbled in the margins. Do you have anything that is a little less, wish upon a star think happy thoughts? I mean this chapter is all about the dangers of wearing knots in your clothes and hair."

"Aye, magic can get caught in knots. Trapped magic can build up and spoil other spells." Thor answered and Tony just rolled his eyes and fell back onto the bed. "However, Asgardian clothing is warded against such things, and we have some oils that cannot catch magic that is applied to the hair. So it is of little concern."

"God, it's a real thing?" Tony flipped through a few pages. "I suppose that makes sense, if you look at magic as being a type of electrical force..." Tony mused before opening another book and pointing at another paragraph. "What about this? The books do not really explain the mental component needed for some spells, if I have to call them that. Anything you can share about it? Half-blood prince here did not go into very many details."

"I fear I do not know." Thor confessed glancing down at his hand. "I know little about magic. The only semblance of magic I perform is through Mjolnir, and even I cannot fully explain that. Mjolnir simply responds to my will because I am its master. I do not know how."

"That's okay big guy, I'm sure someone must have something on it." Tony flipped through the book a bit faster. "Man, haven't you ever heard of an Index section? Or a Table of Contents? Your lack of an organizational system is maddening." Tony put down the book and pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's it, I'm going to digitize your library this is far too much work."

"I think it would be more work than just reading them." Bruce interjected looking at one of the books. "Most of these are handwritten, and I doubt JARVIS can read all speak, it seems to work on some sort of psychic level. So unless you want to type it all out, you are stuck doing it the old fashioned way."

"Can I at least talk to Odin about giving you lot the printing press? I can hardly read some of this hand writing, on top of it being in your fancy pants language."

Thor nodded in agreement. "I suppose it could benefit Asgard to have added clarity to our tomes."

"That's all well and good, but we still have a problem with the magic." Bruce interrupted. "I tried reading some of the books and it's a bit over my head. Can we talk to someone who knows a bit more?"

"Yeah, maybe crash some Magic 101 class," Tony added as he stood up out of his bed to change into his clothes from the day before that he had washed. "It's hard enough translating the point with all of your awkward phrasing. I don't know how you see it, but it's all Old English to me. It's too much extra effort."

"I'm afraid that magic is normally a privately taught art. Unlike Midgard, we do not have unified schooling, where everyone learns the same things. In Asgard, we have private masters who teach us our arts, and apprenticeship is difficult to acquire. I apologize for this, but I do not think you have the time for an apprenticeship, being human and short of years."

"We don't need to learn magic all the way, just enough to make a teleporter. Can't you ask one to give a small seminar or something?" Bruce attempted, but the look on Thor's face already gave them the answer.

"Nay. Masters of magic are very wary about teaching it to others for how much power it can grant. They keep their students for decades without letting them make so much as a simple charm so that they may get to adequately know them, and gauge if they be worthy of the art."

"So many damn rules!" Tony yelled as he pulled his shirt down. "It'll take a lifetime just to organize everything before any real research could be done. We need someone. Anyone. Isn't there someone that will break the rules just a little and help explain some of this junk to us?"

Thor closed his eyes and frowned deeply. "I can only think of one who would, though he may not be willing," Thor shook his head. "However, he would be one qualified enough to help you."

"Wonderful, bring him in," Tony smiled, happy that his plan was coming together.

"He is already at the palace." Thor turned, motioning for Bruce and Tony to follow. "Come, bring your books."

"So who is this guy anyway?" Bruce asked once they were in the hallway.

Thor sighed again, not bothering to turn around. "It is Loki."

* * *

"You wish for me to teach _them,_ Thor?" Loki spat, as he paced his cell. "You truly do come here only to insult me."

"Loki," Thor began. "I mean you no insult. I would actually think this would be a complement to your mastery of magic, seeing as I came to you because you are the best at your craft."

"You came to me because no one else would demean themselves to instruct mortals!" Loki shouted back crossing his arms. "It matters not how skilled I am. I know that you would lose your good graces with any other sorcerer for asking such a favor."

"Come Loki, surely you see the value in aiding them?" Thor pleaded. "Helping one you once called foe would certainly show reformation on your part. It would help me to make a case to Father to grant you more privileges. I may be able to lessen your sentence."

"Yeah, take the plea deal; it sounds like a good one to me." Tony egged on. He did not really like the idea of giving Thor's megalomaniac of a half-brother more freedoms, but he really did not want to have to read anymore books written by scribes. "And you get to act all superior; I know you love doing that, Loks."

"You would also be permitted your magic again if you agree to teach them." Thor added. Loki looked up at this, a flash of genuine interest shined in his eyes.

"Truly?" Loki began pacing slower, more of just walking absentmindedly.

"Father has agreed, and it would be necessary for proper instruction. It would be limited, but you would have it."

Loki stopped moving and seemed to consider this. Tony was not sure how much the man needed his magic, Thor seemed to live without too much, so it could not have been an Asgardian thing. Maybe it was more like a hobby, like reading or tinkering. Tony would be the first to admit that he goes a little stir crazy when he sits in too many meeting and cannot work on anything down in the labs. Perhaps Loki was like that.

"Very well, Thor," Loki began as he lean against a wall in his cell, "I accept your offer. If only because it would be a nice change of pace and the boredom is near to killing me."

"Thank you, Loki," Bruce said, making Loki's shoulders rise slightly, almost like he was surprised with the statement.

He did not offer a response, but waited as Thor walked up to the glass wall of the cell and touched it, making it vanish and setting Loki free.

"You sure this is a good idea, Big Guy?" Tony asked as he backed up a step when the wall faded.

"Fear not, Stark." Loki held up a wrist to reveal tight metal bracers around his arms, "These blasted things prevent me from leaving this room, as well as bring you any harm. I'm as defenseless as a kitten."

"Yeah, I doubt that." Tony scoffed back.

"My friends," Thor put a hand on Tony's shoulder. "I leave you to your study."

"You're leaving us with him?" Tony looked back at Thor pleadingly. "He's going to kill us."

"He cannot mortality harm you, Man of Iron, he has not the power. The guards will remain at the entrance, so worry not. You both will be safe, I assure you. The bracers promise that he will be restrained, and if he ever wishes to leave his room, he will cooperate."

Loki nodded at this as if to confirm Thor's words. Thor took it as a good sign. "I need to speak to Father about this. I will be back soon my friends." And then Thor was gone.

Loki paced around the room a little, likely admiring the extra space he was allowed, before picking as spot near the pile of books and sitting down on the ground. Bruce and Tony joined him.

"Let's start with something simple." Loki began waving his hand in the air, making three small metal balls appear. One ball floated to each of the men. Tony eyed his ball warily before grabbing it out of the air. "Try and make this float."

"You are going to tell us to do it just like that?" Tony was getting annoyed. "How about a little instruction first. And don't say just wish it."

"Mortals..." Loki sighed heavily, likely just realizing what he had gotten himself into. "Very well. Magic is a force of nature. It is a constant that exists in the entire universe. In essence, magic is a way to reach out and bend the fabric of creation to your will. If you want to go somewhere else, just fold reality around you so you are in another place. Will the ball to fly, well, remove what binds it to the soil."

"Yes, but how?" Tony nearly growled. "Wishing for gravity to go away does not make it true."

"You command it!" Loki shouted. "Tell it to fly and mean it, Stark!"

"Gravity does not work like that!"

"And why not, Stark?"

"It's a universal constant; it does not go away just because you ask it too."

"So is Magic! It is the most powerful force. That is why you need to bend it to your will to control reality."

"And how do you do that?"

"By commanding it to do so."

"HOW?"

Loki stood up and looked like he was about to kick Tony in the head but stood still seething, the bracers around his arms were glowing a bright green, likely from trying to restrain Loki's wrath.

"Um," Bruce spoke up quietly. Both Tony and Loki turned to look at the scientist and Tony's jaw dropped. Loki calmed down slightly and gave Bruce a small smile. Bruce's ball was floating a few inches in the air. "Is this right?"

"You are a better student than I would have imagined, Doctor."

Bruce and Tony were slightly taken aback at the complement. It was the first time that they could remember that he had called Bruce anything other than a monster.

"Um, thanks." Bruce stammered back as the ball bounced in the air.

"Bruce," Tony asked as he inched closer. "How are you doing that?"

"I just did what he said, and it just started floating." Bruce shrugged his shoulders. "You need to picture it as being a bit like Wiley Coyote. You walk off the cliff as long as you don't look down."

"Explain a bit more, Bruce."

"I imagined a small magnet pulling the ball up, and it just went up."

"He overwrote reality, Stark." Loki explained further. "You are determined to see reality in only one, fixed way. Reality is however you choose to perceive it."

"What, so we live in the Matrix? There is no spoon?"

Loki looked confused at the reference, however Bruce picked up on it.

"Yes, Tony, it's like that."

"Man, I can't do that." Tony looked down frustrated. "That is crazy talk. I cannot overwrite reality. There are rules and physics. How can you accept this so quickly?"

Loki groaned slightly in frustration as he walked over to Tony. He kneeled down, putting a hand on either side of Tony's head, forcing him to look right at Loki. "Look into my eyes, Stark." Tony had little choice but to comply.

The moment he did the world seemed to dissolve around him into darkness. He could not move, and could hardly speak above small grunts. He felt like his very core was twisting and turning in a torrent of butterflies. This feeling extended through his entire body, making him shiver slightly. He could feel energy slipping through his blood, intermingling with his bones. It was not painful, he was not sure how to describe what was happening. He felt more uneasy and excited at the same time.

When Tony came to himself, he was lying on the floor with unblinking eyes. Bruce was sitting close by, though he did not look as concerned as Tony would have hoped he would have been.

"What the hell did you do to me?" He groaned as he pushed himself up off the ground.

"You feeling okay, Tony?" Bruce asked, helping him up.

Loki walked closer to the pair. "I was checking your capability for magic. Needless to say, you have about as much talent as mouse. By the way, I would be wary against doing everything a sorcerer asks, it is a sign of approval for them to do whatever they wish."

"Is that why I had to look into your eyes, crazy?"

"It is a simple request, is it not?"

"Sure, sure." Tony rubbed the area around his arc reactor to calm down the butterflies. "So Do we have any alternatives? I can't see teleportation being really useful if we have to rely on Bruce to do it."

Loki seemed to have rolled his eyes at Tony's remark, however he seemed to comply. He grabbed Tony's arm and tied a large leather cuff around his wrist. "There few options outside of enchanting an object, however you would be unable to recreate the enchantment. No, we are going to try runes. Hold out your other hand?"

Tony hesitated and Loki nearly laughed at how stubborn he was being. "I'm not going to bewitch you again, Stark. Now give me your hand."

When Tony refused, Loki grabbed his hand and pricked Tony's hand, making him bleed. Loki pushed the blood against the leather cuff. The blood reacted with some of the symbols in the leather, making them glow a faint red.

"What the hell, Loki?" Tony was getting sick of this. "I thought you were as harmless as a kitten."

"Cats have claws, Stark." Loki smiled mischievously, obviously loving being in control after so long.

"So why did you need to injure me?"

"This here," Loki pointed to the glowing symbols, "is a blood rune, it makes the other runes around it react only to the person whose blood first touches it."

"So it takes a bio-signature." Tony smiled, finally something that made sense.

"Yes, these runes will only react to you, now."

"Does it have to be blood? Can it be something less invasive, like hair?" Bruce suddenly asked, curious about the runes as well.

Loki removed Tony's hand from the cuff once the glowing went down. He seemed to think about the answer. "Magic has three principal physical components, blood, flesh, and bone. Any of the three can be used in place of the other, but each has a special purpose. Blood specializes in the spirit and the mind. Blood based spells are powerful, but obviously, it is difficult to hold onto blood for too long, there is not much use for dried blood.

"Flesh technically does include hair, however it does not create much of a bond, they are mostly used for appearance based spells, shape shifting, and the like. It's not very powerful, and the effects of the magic do not last very long.

"Bone, however is very powerful. Partly due to how difficult it is to obtain, using bone in a spell can control the body. It is much easier to store than blood and much more effective than flesh."

Loki smiled mischievously again. "I assumed you would rather not sacrifice a rib just for a simple rune charm.

"Yeah, good call." Tony frowned as he held his injured hand. Bruce took hold of it and traced the wounded area with a finger, a trailing light purple light followed stitched him up. Within seconds he was healed. Bruce looked awfully proud of himself, and Tony smiled back. "Good work, Big Guy."

"The book says it only works on small cuts and bruises, but hey, it's something."

"I'm glad one of us can make heads or tails out of it." Tony looked at the leather cuff tied around his wrist. "So what is this supposed to do?"

"It will help you to control runes and sigils. While I was looking for magic in you, I noticed you have quite an affinity for crafting words for your purposes. What was the word...programming? This is similar to that." Loki explained throwing a book down at Tony as he stood up. "Read this, it details how different symbols and what they mean and so on."

Tony was going to ask how the cuff was supposed to do that when Thor walked back into the room. He immediately walked over to Loki and guided them away from Tony and Bruce. He was smiling, so he could not have had bad news, however he did not seem like he was going to be giving Loki back anytime soon as he took him by the arm and guided him out of the dungeon, guards following. Before they knew it, they were left alone in the dungeon.

"Okay, I guess we'll wait here then." Tony yelled after them as the door closed. At least he had something he could actually understand. "Hey Bruce, let me see the healing thing again."


	7. Step 7: Demonstrations

Damn Anthony Stark. Damn him to the eternal pits of the darkest dankest hell. This was all his fault. It was his damned fault for up and vanishing for no reason, and for not even giving any explanation when he did come back. Of course he knew that SHIELD would want to know where he ran off to with a demi-god and an unstoppable monster. Of course he knew that SHIELD would not hesitate to access all of his files in an attempt to find out what he knew.

And of course, he would retaliate. But Stark was going to have to pay for his retaliation. Big time.

At first, lock down was not so back for Nick Fury, he still had a tablet he could access some files with and give orders from, so he could still work and keep the world safe; however it was not nearly powerful enough to break through Stark's virus and open the doors. And what he would pay to get those doors open now. No, now Fury was braving his tenth hour in Stark prison, and he was nearing his breaking point.

About twenty minutes into being trapped in the room everything was quite. Quartermaine was trying to break Stark's virus, to no avail, when suddenly a solid white window appeared on the screen. Fury halfway hoped that Quartermaine had managed to open another program before all the computers started playing soap opera music and the words "Robotic Sparkles" appeared in scrolled text in the window. Before Fury could give Quatermaine a confused look, Stark's AI began narrating the text that slowly scrolled by.

As far as Fury could tell, the program was reading to them a very, very, very explicit romance novel about Stark's AI, JARVIS, and some hamster named Sparkles. The amount of detail was downright disturbing. And Fury had no choice but to sit there and listen to it.

Damn Stark and his 'reading material'.

* * *

Tony decided that he needed to start carrying chalk with him. The rune book was fascinating to say the least. It detailed everything from basic alchemy to hinting at necromancy, if he was reading between the lines right. He was definitely going to want to use the 'walk-through-walls' rune when he was at business meetings; or at least, trying to avoid meetings. Chalk was cheap and he could scribble it on anything, even people. Yeah, he needed some.

The leather cuff only had the blood rune inscribed on it, and after some digging, Tony was able to figure out what it meant. It mostly worked as Loki had said, runes around a blood rune would only react to a single person, namely him. The book also said that the blood rune would be able to act as an identifier if they ever needed to use it for something like a tracking spell.

Rune magic made so much more sense to Tony than whatever crazy Matrix magic Loki and Bruce seemed to be able to use. He was not quite sure how certain symbols could change something, but then again, it was just the ordering of atoms that changed graphite into diamonds. Maybe certain symbols, mixed with human will, expressed through brain waves, combined to make a separate reaction in the universe. It could take a lifetime to figure out how and why they do that, but Tony was satisfied with his current explanation, at least for now.

Like Loki said, rune magic was very similar to programming a computer. Each rune could be layered on top of and combined with others to do new things. It was easiest to imagine it as hacking into the universe, and the runes were separate program methods. Alone, a single line cannot do anything, but in the right order, it can crash a whole system.

If anything, this reasoning was enough for him to begin looking into developing a teleportation rune. As far as he could tell, one did not exist, at least not one to his liking. They had one in the book that could work, but it could only go to one place that also had the corresponding rune. Tony really wanted something more dynamic than that. He really wanted something that could be used mid-battle; Clint and Natasha would love to be able to teleport from rooftop to rooftop without having to plan out a rune path. And Tony would not mind having a 'get-out-of-here-free' card on hand. But since the book was giving him nothing, he would just have to make one up himself.

Rune magic was probably the route they would need to look into anyway; it would be easier for the general user to get a handle on. It would have been really difficult to have to explain the 'think happy thoughts' method to not only his team, but the rest of the general public as well. Now given enough time, he could figure out how runes worked, and possibly even get a few good papers out of it in the process. Though what scientific journal would want to publish his magical theory papers was beyond him. Maybe he would start his own if he was rejected enough.

Tony was currently flipping though the book, marking the runes that the found most useful or fun in a database JARVIS was organizing for him on his phone. There was enough room on the cuff for a few more runes, and he wanted to make sure that he had instant access to all of the fun enchantments before it was completely full. He was about half way through the book when Loki and Thor returned.

Thor was smiling with an arm around Loki's shoulder as the pair walked up to them. Loki did not look as thrilled as Thor, but when was anyone as happy as Thor most of the time?

"My apologies for taking away your teacher, my friends." Thor called once he was closer. "My father wished to speak with Loki about his sentence. He was kind enough to grant Loki a chance to lessen his punishment, as reward for aiding you in your endeavors. Did I not tell you that helping others would work in your favor?"

"Yes you did Thor." Loki begrudgingly agreed. "Now I only have to spend five years on the Isle of Silence. I can hardly wait."

"It can't be any worse than the dungeons, can it?" Bruce smiled, looking like he was trying to find the bright side.

"It is a realm where no sound exist. It is maddening." Loki scoffed as he sat down with Tony and Bruce. "Though it is better than spending a half-century in the palace dungeons."

"I guess." Tony agreed. "Hey Thor, do you think you can get me some scratch paper and a pen, I wanna try something with the runes?" Tony pointed to the cuff on his arm.

"Of course, I'll ask the guards."

"Are you finally able to grasp runes?" Loki commented. "I was beginning to worry that you were beyond hope."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Tony scoffed as he took the paper and pen from Thor. "If you must know, yes, this does make more sense. In fact, I'm going to try this one out now." Tony began copying a rune onto the paper from his phone, once he was done, he put the paper on the cuff and put the phone over the paper, flipping through the database until he found a different rune. "And all I have to do is touch it and it will work?"

"Yes," Loki began crossing his arms. "Though willing it to activate will due with some runes."

"Okay then," Tony steadied his phone before lifting a finger the hover over the screen. "If this breaks my phone, you owe me a new one, Loks." Tony pressed the screen and a new light glowed off of the screen, likely from the rune. Soon after there was a puff of smoke, and then nothing. "Is it done?"

Loki sighed again, seeming to have reached his social limit for the day. "Yes, Stark."

Tony took his phone away and the paper fell from the cuff. A big smile found itself on his face from a job well done. "Now this is nice."

"I take it the rune was successful, sir?" JARVIS' automated voice asked and Tony gave his approval.

"What did you do?" Bruce asked as he walked up to look at the fallen piece of paper. Some small fragments fell off the paper, like someone punched a hole out of it.

"It is an etching spell." Loki explained. "It usually will just cut along in whatever shape it's moved in, but when left still, it cuts the shape below it."

"You can tell all of that from all the way over there?" Tony said, slightly impressed. Loki nodded from his spot on the floor at the other end of the room. "It did a wonderful job! This looks great., nice and clean."

"So what rune did you pick?" Bruce asked looking at the cuff.

"Let's see if I can show you." Tony pocketed his phone and brushed his hand over the newly etched rune. Within seconds Tony felt himself lift slowly from the ground. In a few more seconds he was three feet off the ground. "Ha! 'Make the ball float.' This good enough for you?"

Loki smiled sardonically, "Adequate."

"Aw, come on! I worked hard on this. I even incorporated the blood rune so that it affects me." Tony suddenly glided over to Loki. "I figured out how to fly, Rudolph."

"As simplistic of a spell that is, I told you to make the ball float, not yourself."

Tony groaned internally, looking like he wanted to yell something vulgar. "Fine princess. I'll make the damn ball float. Watch." Tony held out his cuffed hand towards the ball and began to concentrate. Nothing happened. "Come on, come on..." Tony thought even more, wishing for the ball to come towards him. "Get over here!"

Suddenly Bruce's hair, clothes, and glasses began to float upwards. Soon all of Bruce joined Tony in the air. Bruce was not taking it well. "Tony. Tony stop! I'm having a hard time staying balanced." Bruce had spun nearly upside down before he slammed into Tony like they were magnets. The force of the impact knocked the pair to the ground.

Both Thor and Loki were in stitches at the spectacle. Tony even noticed that the guards were finding it difficult to hold back their snickers.

"Well, was that good enough for you?" Tony asked as he and Bruce tried to stand up.

"It was a fine show, Man of Iron." Thor said through his laughter. "Though you're aim could use some work."

"Noted," Tony growled slightly as he pulled Bruce to his feet. "Any comments from the peanut gallery?"

"That will due for now, Stark." Loki sighed, sounding exhausted. "If you fools are through with me, I would like to rest."

"That is probably for the best." Thor interjected. "Loki's magic is limited right now. Even simple spells are exhausting for him."

"Dealing with fools is much more exhausting than my weakened magics, Thor." Loki sneered before settling in his cell. "I do not wish to be bothered with anymore humiliating tasks this day. Leave me."

Tony sighed. Loki just had to always be the diva. He had a few more questions he wanted to ask, but it Tony would be lying if he denied seeing the low slump in Loki's usually stiff shoulders and his eyelids heavy with sleep.

"Thank you for your help Loki," Bruce smiled once he had gathered all of the books off of the floor.

Loki did not respond.

"Yeah, thanks for the quality smoke to go with our mirrors." Tony scoffed. "Come on Brucie, we should have enough here to finish a prototype at least."

Thor took one final long look at Loki before turning to join Tony and Bruce as they made their way back to the main hall. Thor looked truly pleased in a way Tony had not seen before.

"My friends." Thor said as he clasped an arm around each of them. "You have helped my brother in ways he could never help himself. You both have my deepest thanks."

"It was no trouble, Thor," Bruce said, sounding slightly embarrassed. "If anything, he helped us too."

"He can find some way to make it up to us I'm sure." Tony smiled. "We'll just have to lord it over him for a while, always good to have a few favors to call in."

"I doubt Loki sees teaching us as doing him a favor."

"Well he should feel honored to have the great Tony Stark asking for help. There are few things I don't understand, and I never ask for help. The way I see it is I've given him bragging rights few have. He could go far with that information. That has to be worth a few magical favors."

"Can't you just admit you need help every now and again? For once?"

"Nope never. Besides I'm inspired! I can't be humble when I feel this brilliant! Thor-buddy, do you have an R&D room we can mess around in? We have some work to do."

"The library should suffice, my friends." Thor said as he guided them to a large set of double doors. The doors revealed a massive room the size of an airplane hangar, the walls lined with ceiling high shelves all filled with books. Free standing shelves also filled the room with more books than they could even look at in a lifetime.

"Good lord…" Bruce started but pure awe stopped him. He looked like a kid in a candy store who was just told he owned the place. "This is incredible!"

"Were you honestly expecting anything less? This whole world is shiny and magical. Not to mention the average lifespan is probably ridiculously long. I would not be surprised if this wasn't just the guest library." Tony was trying really hard not to geek out with Bruce from the sheer amount of information that must have been there. Thousands of book on Agaradian engineering and metal work. It could improve all of his technology and inspire so many new projects. It was freaking amazing!

"I'll leave you to your work then." Thor said backing out of the room, obviously happy that he was able to help, even if it was only a little. "If you need anything, just ask one of the servants. Father tells me that they are all fascinated seeing Midgardians. Most never get the chance to see the other realms. I am sure that they would be happy to help any way they can."

"Thanks Thor, your the best!" Tony shouted as Thor turned to leave. "Alright Bruce, lets make some magic!"

* * *

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. I was kinda stuck. And now I have school, so delays are inevitable. Sorry about that. Hope you enjoyed the update!**


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